OK, this is the most misunderstood term. Guys. It is not narcissism. It is not being selfish and not care about the others. Completely the opposite – this is the way to be able to truly love others. Because the most important relationship in our lives is that with ourselves. It is what all other relationships are grounding on. While narcissism is one of the most desperate ways for ego to hide its uncertainty, its huge lack of self love. To mask it. You should have compassion for narcissists! They are hurting deeply. So all the issues in your relationships with others hide in the fact that you are not able to provide unconditional love for yourself first. Of course there is no way to give to another person what you don’t have. And you try to steal it and get addicted, needing higher and higher dosage so you can maintain that state that is imitating love. You become dependent of what others think and want and expect, because otherwise you don’t get it from them.
Of course most of us are convinced we love ourselves. Course we do. What is that person talking about? But do you? Honestly? How many times today you have been judging yourself, being hard on yourself, cursing yourself, said to yourself that you are fat or lazy, or bad? What did you do for yourself, to please yourself, to make you feel good in your own shoes? I mean the true you. Not your delusional ego. It is easy to tell what is the case – if you please your true essence you feel internal peace and joy. If it is an ego desire – you post a photo/status/whatever on social media to tell others and you are already thinking about the next one, you feel this rush and desire to get more and more, that it is just not enough.
So what truly means to love yourself? /I have to admit that while writing this question I don’t have the answer clear and ready in my head. But it happens that those answers are coming while I write :). So that’s one of the reasons I am doing this./ It means firstly to accept yourself the way you are. Yes I know that’s written in every self help book. But that’s the truth. And you are asking now: how should I accept myself and love myself when I am fat/lazy/dumb/mean bla bla bla? That’s not you, folks. Remember, we already talked about it. It is the poor scared lost ego.
Let’s start with the looks. In our template the relationships start with the looks, don’t they ;). We completely identify with our bodies. Being brainwashed from all the industry that beauty is maintained from without. That beauty is certain measures and shapes. It is literally like our eyes were trained, tamed by social media and collective stereotypes. Because beauty is far more than what is perceptible by the eyes. Little prince said it as well. /A remark – if you are a person who is now saying: “Only ugly people talk like this!” – this is totally not the right blog for you, so don’t waste your time reading ;)/. Nature is the greatest artist of all. Its creations are nothing but perfect. So your physical body is created perfect for you. Completely perfect. The ultimate design. Pure magic. And beauty. Now, what your ego is doing with it might be not that beautiful. I mean poisoning – air, food, negative emotions, long list. But still you can anytime change the direction. It is never too late. And… I am not judging and everyone should live their life they way they want and do with their body what they want, but… if you smoke, take drugs, eat mostly junk food – you got the idea – you don’t love yourself. I am sorry, but you truly don’t. Just saying! If it is ok for you, then keep doing. But you are in fact telling this to your body. And it reacts accordingly.
Anyways, I know it is hard – but try to see with your true eyes, outside the templates. What you think is some huge imperfection might in fact be far not that bad and awful. Try to accept it, it is making you You, unique. Yes, other people might think it is ugly. But why do you care that much? And for sure other people are more busy worrying about their own imperfections and how to hide them from you. Just look in the mirror, face all you think is not right and say: f…, I love it! Overall – talk to your body. Words are powerful. And I see recently they became more powerful. So say to your body positive things about it, even if you are not completely confident. It will change with the time and practicing. Ah and never use the word “hate”. This is worse then any poison.
In fact, if you are not comparing what you see to all the fake images in media, you wouldn’t find it that bad at all. If some stuff is truly bothering you – then accept it, love it anyway and take actions to change it, to improve it. How – just decide, set your intention and start acting in this direction – but don’t get obsessed and sticking to fast results. Be gentle with your body, don’t stress it too much, don’t torture it. Find the balance! Be ok with the result no matter what. Sometimes some of the body issues have deeper meaning and hidden lessons, let them do their job. It is also a way your soul to grab your attention, to show you some issues you need to heal.
To wrap up – a healthy body is a beautiful body. OK, it is not perfect according to the standards – but perfect is boring, who needs perfect!
Then… the other part. That’s behind the looks. In fact they are very much connected, very much. And in both directions. You won’t become healthy and good looking just by sitting and meditating on it. Yes, it is necessary to set intention, to focus your energy there, visualize, etc. But with no actions in physical you won’t get results. Or it will take a lot more time. This will maybe change in the near future. As we are getting more and more into our power.I guess even now they are people that can completely control their physics just with the power of their thoughts. But still not the mass case so if you want to manifest a fit body just stop laying on the couch watching TV with beer and chips ;). So the point was you can improve your internal state through physical actions with your body as well. I will write a separate article on this, it had truly amazing results on me :). What I am trying to say and somehow keep losing the focus is that mind and spirit are truly connected /ah, good morning/ and influence is working in both directions.
OK, it seems like I am trying to escape the topic with loving our mental-emotional-ego self, which is pointing on my own issues I still need to work on ;). So. Love your ego personality. As with the body – it is perfect for you and for the things you want to learn and master in this life. Btw by constantly putting ego against soul I am not saying ego is bad. I am saying identifying with it makes us suffer. But still you can love that part from you. It is unique. Your soul loves it. Because it gives the unique chance to experience all this variety of emotions, and remember – the soul strives to grow, to experience, to live all aspects of the existence. But /always there is a but, isn’t it/ – don’t get lost in it, don’t allow them to control you. F.e. anger. Let say you are that kind of person whose anger cyclometer is jumping from 0 to 3000 in a sec. Speaking from own experience. And how you are supposed to love this? It is quite destructive and often has consequences you don’t like. Well – listen now, that’s crucial – start to watch yourself. It is not going to work over night but still with the time you can learn it. Keep the higher perspective. Say to yourself – ok, that’s anger. This is me having this experience. This is how it feels. You can track also the physical symptoms: heart beat, shaking, sweating, whatever processes are happening with your body. Now, don’t judge it. It is just an energy that needs to be mastered. E-motion = energy in motion. Don’t punish yourself for feeling it. Try to find a healthier way to release it – I know in most cases is not possible to release it immediately and it just explodes, but still. Physical activities help a lot. I promise, if you are consistent and keep practicing, with the time you will master it.
By saying love yourself the way you are and accept what you labeled as bad I so DON’T want to say to be passive and to stop changing and improving yourself. You can love and accept your imperfections and still work to overcome them in order to further grow and evolve.
So… physical, then mental and emotional – what left is the soul level /ok, just as a very general structure, I still try to keep it short and simple although it gets harder :D/. On soul level is very easy. You don’t need to develop it or to learn it here. Because love is the permanent state your soul is experiencing. Your soul always loves you, no matter how hard you try to cause damage to it. Remember – unconditional love. But the point is to get to that level of experiencing life on earth, to be able to identify with it.
And at the end… I kind of tricked you here :). Because guess who is the observer, who is in fact watching and tracking those experiences. It is your true essence! That is behind the ego mask. Known as your higher self. And it is the most important connection you need to establish in you life! Will tell you more about it in my next talks ;).